Before we begin – ‘ghosting’ is when the person you’re seeing or dating stops all forms of communication with you and quite literally… except they’re completely fine at home they just really don’t want to see you anymore.
But I’m betting that giving less of a shit if they tick arbitrary boxes and focusing on how they treat you ends up being a really good move. Maybe it’s giving up on yourself and your own dreams whenever you get into a relationship. I’m just beautiful and smart and you must listen to me.
One way to survive it is to look at patterns of behaviours and decisions that have led us into terrible places in the past and think “maybe let’s not do that this time’.
Maybe it’s that you keep eating ice cream even though you’re 90 per cent sure you’re lactose intolerant and you’ve had a rash on your tit since July. Which is actually essentially the same thing on account of how liking someone means wanting them to feel good and liked and fixing your behavior to demonstrate that. Except not obviously because we all keep flipping putting up with it. And then withdraw your precious delicious time and energy and refocus it in places that actually produce returns and make you feel good. Same goes for going out with people who aren’t even remotely ready for a relationship and trying to change them into someone who is. Even if it was possible for you to change them into someone who’ll treat you well and return all the energy you’ve poured into them (it’s not but just imagine) I promise you that you don’t have time.
Maybe it’s letting insecurity interrupt your happiness, or pushing people away because you’re scared to be vulnerable. Or at least people who don’t behave as though they like you. Next time someone starts treating you like an old bag of milk, instead of making excuses for them, tell them “Hey, don’t do that”. You can’t glue macaroni on a man and call him your boyfriend. They just get mad and make you buy them a new t-shirt.
We clearly had different expectations from the relationship.