That is, her domestic life has subsumed her erotic life, and instead of sex being a release, it just feels like another obligation.
Or is she saying to herself, “I hate when he touches my nipples. I hate when he wants me to stroke his …” This inquiry into your wife’s feelings needs to be sensitive, even oblique.
Your husband’s marijuana use is sabotaging your marriage and surely will have deleterious effects on other parts of his life.
I think you need to get to the primary source of your wife’s resistance.
Is it more that she lies there thinking: “I’ve got to make appointments for the kids’ vaccinations tomorrow. Olivia has a recital Thursday afternoon, so I have to arrange to leave work early …”?
The other problem is that when he has it, he can’t keep his hands off it, so there can be days on end when I only see him high.
I end up going to bed alone while he stays up late playing video games and eating all the snack food!
From your account, your wife was never that interested in sex, and so you are one of those couples who decided to pair up despite your mismatched libidos.